One of The Best examples in my life!!

I think one of the least known parts about my life may be this person to the left! Whenever I tried to talk about her to family members, words just could not describe the person she is and how she has affected my life. So, i'm deciding to tell you a little bit more about her, and hopefully get across the feelings i've had and the example she has been and always is to me. This young women isn't any ordinary girl, she's Mattea Williams!

I really don't know where to begin, because there is really so little that everyone knows about us. I guess I can just start off by saying that we met through a blind date our junior year at homecoming, and really had an amazing time. We started talking a lot after that, and started liking eachother, but than we both realized that it was pointless because of our religions. So we kind of said we were going to be friends, but we really didn't even talk at all for a while until she asked me to formal senior year. From there, we have basically liked eachother throughout senior year up until now. We have tried to attempt not talking and other strategies that have not worked at all. So throughout those 2 in a half years of knowing her we really got to understand eachothers feelings and desires. We have had some really deep conversations that have helped me grow tremendously. Until I met her, I think I only read a couple verses here or there out of the bible. Through the conversations of religion, she got me so intrigued in understanding the bible. Although one might say to me that she is not a good person to be around or the example I need to have around me as i'm preparing for a mission, she has really had so many questions and thoughts that have given me opportunities to realize I need to study more on some of those subjects and truly understand them for myself. I'm not sure I would know some of the things I know, and understand some of the things I understand if it werent for Mattea questioning my religion and me having the desire to look it up, because, I guess I wanted her to understand what I REALLY believed and not mess it up. So, Mattea has helped me too many times and in too many ways to count. I can look back to things I have gained a testimony of, and some of the first thoughts about that certain belief started out with Mattea asking me about it.

Not only has Mattea helped me so much with understanding the bible, and just giving me courage to really search and find, she has literally been the best example a friend can have. I have NEVER met anyone so dedicated to do good in their lives. That is what really got me liking her at the start, her desire to stand for what's right and to let people know her standards. I really can't say how she lives her life, because I don't know everything she does, but from what I know about her and understand is that she really let's her light shine to others and people understand her and what she believes in by the way she lives. Just her prescence makes you want to be good, at least for me. I have never been in a situation with her where I felt scared that something bad was going to happen or the we were going to do something wrong because of how great of a person she is and the standards she possesses. Those standards don't just come, they come by obediance to the Lord and his commandments, and as we do that we feel so much joy from the Lord, and that joy really shows in Mattea. I don't know if anyone else feels this like I do, i'm pretty sure you do, but when someone is living the right way and obeying the Lord, you can really tell because they just show so much joy, love, and care for people, just as you can tell if they are not obeying the Lord.

I look at Mattea and really want to be like her in so many ways. for one thing, I am not an organized person at all, and Mattea basically has that covered. She runs all the time just to stay in shape (I havn't gone on a jog for over 3 months) and I definately need to start getting in that pattern, because I am really out of shape. And one of the biggest things that I have always had a tough time with is my priorities, and getting them straightened up. It seems like Mattea just understand whats most important in life, and knows what she needs to do, but more importantly she knows how to not waste time really in the day, and whenever something needs to be done she gets it done, whereas I will just think about it for a while than forget about it.

I really love that she understands prayer, and that at any time we can pray to our Heavenly Father. We can go to him for thanks for the many blessings we have received, and for wisdom and courage to persevere through some of the trials we go through. We have both shared some experiences we have had with the spirit, and how sometimes when the spirit just tells you something, it's just so powerful, you can't not do it.

Oh yeah, on top of all of the things I have talked about, she is a STUD athlete. She dominates basketball (Mckay I think she could beat you..ha), she was an All State basketball player and also played volleyball and track, where she went to state in track her sophomore year, and was a great volleyball player.

Sometimes I wonder why I met Mattea at all, because it was really hard for us to accept the fact that nothing will ever come from us and it just seemed like everything was for nothing. Oh how I was wrong. I have learned and grown SO MUCH just from knowing this single girl. Although nothing might not ever come from me and Mattea, her influence and example that she was to me will always lead me through my life, and I will look back at the things I have learned from her many times to give me strength in my life.

Well, I guess the reason I am writing all of this about her is because she really was one of the best examples in my life, and it has been so awesome and great to get to know her over the years. Also, I guess to fill you guys in on not even a hundredth of our story, but enough to let you know how things went and how she affected my life, and thirdly is because last night we FINALLY decided on really just being friends, so I felt now was a good time to really talk about everything and realizing that although we hope and pray for eachother all the time, our relationship will basically go nowhere unless their is a change (in religion) which we both know is probably not going to happen. I actually want to kind of expound on that, because I have prayed about this numerous times, and it is so amazing how the Lord works. When I prayed, sometimes because of the feelings I had for Mattea, I would pray for her to understand what I understand so something can come from us, when that is totally not how I need to go about it with the Lord. As I learned more about that, I understood that I needed to pray for EVERYONE to come unto Christ and fill his love, and that I shouldn't pray for Mattea to understand my beliefs just so something can come from us, but because I truly love and care for her and that I just want the best for her. I have hopped between both feelings, but I know as I feel the spirit directing me, that is when I really have the true desire for not only Mattea, but for everyone to come unto the truth.

When I look back on the amazing 2 in a half years of knowing Mattea Williams, I think to myself that I am a very lucky person to have crossed paths with her, and to really get to understand her from the inside out. She not only gave me hope and love, but she was that strength I needed when I was down, even though she probably didn't even know it, I would just think about her and that would just make me realize I need to be like Mattea in this situation. I wish that everyone could meet Mattea and try to really understand her and than you would realize how great she actually is. I guess I can say thanks to Mattea for the experiences we've had and the true example of goodness she has been to me. Mattea is one of my best friends, and I really think she always will be. Despite the feelings we have had for eachother, I really feel that through the Lord's strength, he will help us get through those feelings, and if it be his will still be great friends. Everyone who is reading this (probably mostly family), I know that you'll have some thoughts about not getting to close to a girl especially for a mission, and I understand all of those cares and what can happen when you're to close to a girl. As I have said this whole post, Mattea was a source of righteousness that has helped me in my righteousness, which in turn has helped me prepare for my mission. We really never were "Together" because of what we knew about what can't come from it, but yes we did like eachother..a lot, but I think that is what is going to make us closer as friends. well everyone can read this, but if I had something to say to Mattea it would be to keep doing what you're doing. Stay close to the spirit, and let God direct you because he knows what will bring the most joy to your life.

I really could write a novel about our story, not even kidding. I just want to continue writing because what I have said, is SO little for all the things we have been through. Dad is going to love this post..ha, Mom will say well thats good, but just wait til after your mission, Mac Daddy will probably call me(well we do have an agreement to talk to eachother everyday before my mission) and ask me some things, Sara will give some great advice as always, Jamie will say what mom said(because she basically is mom) I know she doesn't like to hear that, but their really is so much good that I mean out of that when I say it, Jake will give an inspirational talk to me, Nate will tell stories of his experiences with girls, and last but not least, Kaylie will learn from what I have done wrong and be the best of all the Proberts, and when you look how she has lived now, it's already starting. So family(or whoever reads this) whether you liked this post, or felt like I just didn't need to write any of this because it's not what I need to worry about, I really felt like I needed to share some of the things I have learned from Mattea and help you better understand her! It's not even about the girlfriend/boyfriend status (ha), it's about our relationship as friends and how we have learned and grown from eachother so much. I hope that we will continue to have a great friendship and keep learning and growing from eachother. Mattea Williams was (and still is) one of the biggest examples in my life, and I thank Heavenly Father for meeting the wonderful girl. Until next time!!